How I almost ruined the next 10-12 years of my life (this is about ferrets)

I stopped in at a pet store seeking another pet an attempt to gain another weapon in my constant battle with depression and ennui. The first pet store's selection of varmints and pests didn't sate my specific companion need. So I walked a mile or so iPodless (just to illustrate how determined I was) to a larger PETCO.

In my research for what pet would suit me best, I romanced the idea of a ferret. I thought, this could be the perfect pet for me. It sleeps 18 hours a day, then when awake, steals and hides your valuables, and no matter how much training you do, it WILL release its bowels on everything. What's not to love? For some reason my roommates weren't turned on by the idea of me getting a pet that looks like a rat and snake had fallen head over applicable body part. Even with their very verbal objections I was still romancing the idea.

Then the worst happened. As I was perusing the animals, when adorable struck. One of the ferrets woke upon my arrival, made a b-line to me, and wouldn't leave the area of the cage I was closest to. What was I supposed to do? Just when I built the strength to walk away, a worker saw the weakness in my eye and asked if I'd like to hold him. I don't think I've ever said "yes" louder or more truthfully. As I'm holding this cute-ass fella, the worker starts nagging me about the plight of this other ugly albino ferret. Now my moral dillema begins. Do I go with the ferret I'd had a connection with, or the ferret that has been there the longest, cause no one wants to pay for a weirdo. Now, I'm a weirdo and try my hardest to look out for every weirdo I meet, but for $100 and a 12 year commitment? I didn't know what to do.

So, I did what any rational man would do. And I'm happy to announce that I am the proud owner of a rat that has the worst smelling excrement I've ever smelled and won't stop making disgusting noises with his mouth. Oh me and my inability to recognize destiny.